The search ends here!

I wont search for you anymore
Wont look across heads to see that eye meeting mine
Wont walk into parties knowing that you might be there somewhere

I wont cross those bridges, hoping you’ll be on the other side
And that there will never be a bridge again that I might have to cross alone
I wont smile behind my tears again
Knowing that you will never give me a chance to cry again

Those days of searching are over my love
What lies in front of us today
Is a crossroad
Its us who have to take the call

We will choose our fate
And decide
If crossing or meeting is what we want to do!

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You Died

You died
The day the rain washed the window panes
And instead of being a child again
I sat and watched it alone

You died
The day I turned the lock
Because there was nobody else
Who would run back to say “I didnt leave”

You died
The day I pushed my plate away
Looking at the flowers, the crockery, the candlelight gleaming in the dark
And I couldn’t remember the words you said at dinner last

You died my love
In my heart, in my soul
But you lived on somewhere else
And in that life
I wish you create moments
That dont need you to die again

Letters to You-8

If I used all my energy to call you back
Would you come back to me?
If I washed your face with my tears
Would you be the rain for me?
If I lit up your world with my smile
Would your soul glow for me?

There was a time when our worlds were bound together
When our lives were not made of clay
When our garden of Eden bore proof of our love
And the nights melted into warm wonderful days

They all seem a haze now, my love
Like the road that never seems to end
The lights in the distant, flickering as I drive along
The pain though never seems to end

There will be a day, I tell my soul
When our lives will be inextricably linked like a chain
When my tears will melt into yours
And our smiles will never cease to end

I wait for that day, my love
For you to find your way back into my soul
For you to tear my heart open and bare
And write this story again

The day the music died

There was music every morning
Known, unknown and new
As the alarm rang, piercing through the room
Breaking the darkness that enveloped my sleep
I knew what I would wake upto
The words made no sense perhaps at times
Just hazy syllables, strung together with chords
And yet as I listened
I knew you had heard it too
And that perhaps was what tied me to you
In a universe so far way
Knowing you were there, I was here
Yet a fleeting moment in time
Was all that was needed
To tell me I was special
And make me fall in love
Again!

We were there

Once I’ve been there it’s difficult to come back
it’s difficult to forget your smile
To forget how the sweat forms beads on your skin
And runs down your neck when you lie next to me
The way your fingers hold mine
Netted, complex…not knowing where we meet and part
The way your eyes wander
Rippling, sad and with the vision of a land far away
I trace my fingers on your face
And it’s like that night
That moment, that second when time stood still
That hour when reality seemed far away
And dreams looked within reach
And yet I am here now
Alone, amidst crumpled sheets
Clutching at corners, waiting for the night to end
Because its only when day breaks
That the reality sets in
You’re not here
I am
Grappling, clutching
Staying alive

You

 

I try very hard
To get you out of my mind’s eye
To fill those gaps with chatter
With conversations that I hope will touch a part of me somewhere
I look far and wide
While you stand in front of me
Looking over your shoulder
Searching for faces that will catch my eye
That smile that will tell me I am not alone
That look that will tell me its not an unfair world out there
All I see is masks, black, blue and white
I could paint them in any colour I want
I could paint a smile or a tear
I could make them speak a language I want to hear
But every time I reach out in the hope that this is the one
The foreground seems brighter
A spark that perhaps only I see
A ray that burns everything else out in sight
It’s you, it’s always you and can never be anyone else
I shine in that radiance
Glow like the light penetrates my soul
And all that I want to do right then
Is burn in that fire
So that you are the only one
Who feels the warmth of my ash

Why is it?

Why is it that every time I mend myself
You manage to chip a part of me away
Every time I see your eyes
I don’t see what you feel anymore
It’s like living in a faraway land
Where there is only an open space
No root, no life, no anchor
Nothing to pin us down anymore
And tell us we belong
I never thought we would be here
Two of us looking out
Me, yearning to touch you and tell you what I feel
And you, closed up like a shell
Afraid to let me in anymore
They say love breaks every shackle in the universe
Crosses all boundaries
Sets you free
Why is it then that I don’t breathe anymore?
Did your love kill the spirit of me?