and 2015 went rolling by

Is it just me or did everyone feel 2015 whizzing by? Yes I know everyone says this every year but this year it’s just been one roller-coaster ride, whizzing past before I even figured out whether I had buckled my seat belt tightly enough. But boy, am I thankful that 2015 is over?

2015 has perhaps been the toughest year of my life till date. And at my age, I do have many years to show for this one. It’s been a year of personal disasters, of introspections and reflections, of knowing who I really am and as bizarre as it may sound, what I want from my life at this stage. It’s a different issue that I might not be able to solve all the riddles soon enough but atleast the year helped me figure out what was needed of me, for myself.

2015 also helped me see what friendships really mean. Some people stood there as usual, rocks and pillars, without whom I couldn’t take a step forward. Friends who rallied around me and held me tight, screamed at me, told me things as they were. But never for a minute did I feel their love or support wavering. And I am thankful. But 2015 also saw people who I didn’t think mattered, stand up and make it count when the going got bad. Just a hug, just a word, just a kind deed. And it made me believe that no matter what  there is still kindness in the world and it will show up when it matters the most.

2015 was a year of a lot of therapy. Personal deep therapy, something I never believed I needed. But today I have realized that it has been the only thing that has kept me sane and made me wake up each day and know that I can survive one more day without killing myself. And the person who made this happen has perhaps been my greatest finding of the year. I am thankful for what he has added to my life and I am grateful that he has helped me find sources of strength within myself. Yes, it is very cliche but at times you need that extra push and a sane external voice to make sense of the mad rush called life.

And so as 2015 rolls by and 2016 starts to peep out from the corner, I stand back and look at the year gone by with a smile and a tear. Regretting some of the stuff that life threw at me but happy that I still managed to swim through the mess and come out on the other side, comparatively unscathed. I want 2016 to be different. To be a year that continues to give me strength but also a year that makes me add value to the lives of those around me and those who have been there for me in my toughest times. Make new friends but hold onto those who are here. Appreciate people for who they are and forgive those who might not always have a pleasant thing to say. 2016 is going to be a year of change and I am going to make it happen. Make yours count. Because that’s the only thing that matters in the end.


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