Five years is a long time. 1825 days, numerous hours and countless minutes. One would think that so many years, so many days, so many moments, so many new experiences would help abate this pain. But it doesnt. Every year as April draws near, my hands sweat and my eyes well up. Every time I watch TV and see a father-child relationship, I think of you and the moments we never had, the jokes we never cracked, the fights we never spoke about. It was too soon. Death is inevitable. But one is never prepared. Someone told me it was better you were gone because should you have been alive, it would have been horrible for you and perhaps for all of us. They said the celebral would have made you a vegetable, robbing you of your smile, your enthusiasm, your passion for life. But there would still have been life. I would still be able to see you in person every time I walked into the house. I would still have been able to hold your hand if I wished. I would still have been able to see your eyes light up the way they did every time you saw me. It ended too soon. Even before we realized it was time to say goodbye. I had hoped I would be there with you your final moments, telling you the road ahead wasn’t tough, that all through your journey, we would wish you well and tell you how much we loved you and what you meant to each one of us. But that was not to be. You went alone, like you always did. Making sure that none of us saw you those last few minutes so that we never remembered you in pain. Its been too long and yet it feels like yesterday. We just hope you’re happy wherever you are and at peace. We miss you every moment and every morning when I wake up, its just a reminder of another day when you are not here. Stay well baba, stay happy and stay by our side.
And this is a picture you loved but was super embarrassed of. And nothing can be better than to remember you through this 🙂